My Secrets

Just because she:

Is skinny doesn’t mean she’s anorexic

“Normal” weight doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a eating disorder

Ate a candy bar doesn’t mean she eats, that could be the only thing she’s eaten for days

Eats with friends doesn’t mean she keeps the food in her stomach

Wears short sleeves doesn’t mean she doesn’t cut herself

Smiles doesn’t mean she’s happy

(Source: fading-to-paper-thin, via life-of-a-weird-girl)

xrosebmrng:

Never good enough.

Never important enough.

Never pretty enough.

(via infinitydarling)

soooooooo tempted to cut right now

i’ve been having an extremely bad night tonight.

and the urge to cut is just getting stronger and stronger.

i feel like there isn’t much else to do that point…

Anonymous asked: Hi(: I doubt you remember me but I was that anon that would check on you every once in a while haha. How have things been?

Oh, hi! :) Yeah, I do remember you actually! Things have been alright. I guess lately they’ve been better than they were in the past, which is good. But, every day is still a struggle, but I think it always will be. Thanks for checking on me again! :)

Anonymous asked: im so happy for you not cutting yourself for so long! that is such an accomplishment. why stop now? whenever you have urges just think of how far you have come

thank you! i honestly can’t believe that it’s been that long either. i came on here to check it because i remembered i was counting it in some posts on here. i was shocked to see i was in the 200s. yeah, that’s what i’ve been trying to think of. but the urges still come and i don’t think they’ll ever stop for good. but i have made a lot of progress. :]

so it’s been 216 days since i last cut.

i honestly cannot believe it’s been THAT long.

there have been SO many times where I almost did cut.

and lately, those urges are worse than ever.

i think the fact that it’s been so long makes the temptation seem even better than it really is.

i hope that i won’t mess up. but, things happen right?

but 216 days is a lot.

sorry i haven’t been posting on here either. life gets crazy sometimes. and sometimes it’s just easier to stay off of here. sometimes this site can trigger me.

but when it comes to actually cutting, i’ve been doing good. even though i’ve been so close so many times.

all i feel like doing

is eating and eating and eating and eating.

i hate this.

when i’m depressed and feeling this way i either don’t eat a thing at all, and have no appetite. or i eat everything in site and it’s disgusting.

i was doing good for so long eating healthy.

but i just haven’t even cared lately.

and it sucks

i hate it

haven’t been on here in a long time

guess it’s cause things have been pretty good. and life got busy.

but guess what?

things are shit right now.

probably as bad as they can be.

i don’t even know what to do.

i don’t know how get rid of this pain i’ve been feeling.

i wish i knew a way.

nothing works

i don’t want to feel this pain.

i don’t care if you’re supposed.

i just want everything to be better.

to be okay.

but it’s not. and there’s nothing i can do about that.

i know i tend to only post on here when things are bad

but that’s just because i don’t know where else to go.

things have been pretty good, for awhile.

but todays just one those night.

and part of my just doesn’t give a fuck.

and i want to cut.

but i just.

sjkueihfygsuhidel,

i don’t know.

i know i’ll be mad later on.

but at this moment right now. because i haven’t done it in soooo long it makes me feel like it’d be sooo much better than before. 

but i don’t want to break my days of being clean. it’s been a really long time

but there’s that part of me that is just like ‘screw it go cut”

Its not a suicide attempt. Its an escape from something awful. When we cut, we’re in control. We make our own pain and we can stop it whenever we want. Physical pain relieves mental anguish. For a brief moment, the pain of cutting is the only thing in the cutters mind, and when that stop and the mental pain comes back. It is weaker. Drugs do that too. And sex. But not like cutting. Nothing is like cutting.

(Source: islitmywriststill3am, via d-3-l-i-r-i-o-u-s)